Thursday, March 12, 2015

Sad Quit

Wow, that was a long hiatus. Unfortunately the recap of these last few months won't be pleasant. I started Warlords of Draenor by licking my wounds, so to speak, and reassessing what's important to me in the World of Warcraft.

I like raiding. More specifically, I like progression, but the endless treadmill of gear and raid tiers is just a catalyst for what I'm really after, which is being a member of a good team.

Until recently, I was a member of <Stonewall Senior Guard>. I was with them for almost a year, and I thought it was different from every other "LGBT-friendly" guild. For one, it's age 30+, so I expected a fair amount less drama than other guilds, particularly where it comes to disagreements in game or in real life. Well, I couldn't be more wrong.

After seeing someone typing a diatribe into guild chat about "dumbing down the game", I challenged it. I even provided specific examples of how the game now is more complex than in BC. I did not curse or name-call, and I even used as much placating language as I could, but the response was being called a douche and put on ignore. An officer intervened and warned me not to argue in guild chat. From this, I got the clear message to not voice my opinions if they're different than this other guildmate's opinions. That's a problem for a guild I was in for the social aspect.

I stayed anyway and kept my oh so scary opinion that I actually like this game to myself, but I should have seen the writing on the wall. This guild is a hugbox. No one will tell you that you're wrong.

Unless, of course, your political opinions are unacceptable. Now, why do political opinions matter in this game? Well, it is a social game, and people, especially casual players, are going to chat. Invariably the news comes up, or something like that, and I'm asked "What do you think of that?" I know my political opinions are unpopular amongst the "LGBT community", which I am ostensibly a part of, so I hedged my replies. I never lied outright, but I certainly withheld a lot of truth. I used to withhold a lot of truths while I was in the Army, serving under Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Now, not being allowed to speak freely in this particular guild's chat is certainly not as bad as that, but it's bad in the same way. To risk social ostracization for honestly answering direct questions is a problem. It's the same problem I had in <Taint> and every other "LGBT-friendly" guild I've been in.

Yet still I stayed, against my better judgement, because I had been making friends there. I did end up quitting, though, after being voluntold to be the raid leader. I was asked if I was interested in either being the raid leader and/or a mentor (specifically a tank mentor) and I was very clear that I cannot commit to the raid lead position, but I was very happy to mentor anyone wanting to learn how to tank. I was later asked to be the "liaison" between us and another guild, relaying information to their forums, and somehow this was interpreted as volunteering to be the raid leader. I told the GM that he needed to recruit and put Normal Highmaul on the calendar if we wanted to make it happen, but no recruitment was done, and Siege of Orgrimmar was put on the calendar.

That's why I quit, ultimately, though I'd be remiss to not say that the previous problems weren't a factor. First and foremost, though, I was not being listened to. A raid leader probably shouldn't be a reluctant one, and I was very reluctant. I don't know how to lead a hugbox. Additionally, recruitment has to be done, and it needs done by officers who know the guild culture. Current content has to be at least attempted if anyone is to be attracted to the opportunity to raid.

I left while I was the only one online, dropped Btags, got one non-committal note in the mail, and haven't heard from anyone there since. I guess we weren't friends after all.

I was raiding the past few weeks with <Elysiums Gate>, and the trouble there started when my co-tank/raid leader/guild leader did not know that Bonus Armor gives tanks Attack Power, which is why I was not pre-potting when he pulled. He doesn't start with a taunt, so if I go all out I would rip threat off him, even when I was undergeared. Now, this could be an OK thing for someone "progressing" through Normal modes to not know, I think. It's the first raid tier of the expansion, and people will make mistakes. The real test is how a player deals with mistakes.

The major warning sign for me was when he made a bad call on Operator Thogar and caused a wipe. The silence on vent said it all. He would not accept responsibility. 2 people /gquit on the spot, since they'd been arguing with him over stuff all night and it was just too much, but I decided to give this group another chance.

Last Tuesday, we had a fairly normal night, right up until one of the two pugs asked why a tier piece didn't go to the highest roll. I was already logged out of Mumble, but still in raid chat, so I scrolled back and sure enough, a tier piece had been given to a guildmate instead of the one who rolled highest. This was a clear cut ninja. More importantly, by doing this, the guild leader was showing that a piece of loot is more important than the guild's reputation. I /gquit and when asked why, I said I won't be associated with that.

So now I'm at 665 ilevel on a server full of guilds that are "LGBT-friendly", i.e. unfriendly to me, and I'm looking at my options. A transfer is out of the question, since I can't afford it. My alts on Durotan (Hunter, Shaman, Rogue, Warrior) are an option, though I don't relish the idea of starting from level 90 this late in the raid tier.

This is probably the closest I've come since WotLK to quitting the game.


  1. Well, you're right that a guild which explicitly calls itself "LGBT-friendly" is probably signalling a certain political orientation. Why don't you apply to a regular guild? Most regular guilds are not "LGBT-unfriendly", though I suppose it can be hard to tell if they are from outside.

    Of course, on Stonewall, because of the nature of the server, a guild that does not explicitly call itself "LGBT-friendly" might in itself be a signal that it is "LGBT-unfriendly".

    Perhaps another option might be setting your sights higher, targeting a guild which is focused on raiding and progression. Those types of guilds tend to set "raiding" as the highest good, and the members aren't really focused on real life and politics.

    1. I've never been in an 'LGBT-unfriendly" guild, though they certainly exist. I doubt any guild chat in WoW gets as bad as 4chan, though. It's a matter of degrees, and I know my limits.

      I must confess to being somewhat naive concerning LGBT politics. I was just never was exposed to any of it. I tried, though, I really tried to connect, but every time it blew up in my face. I don't even start the conversations that end up being a dogpile on me for something I didn't think was a big deal. I'm not even a conservative or libertarian. I'm a liberal, just not liberal or progressive enough for these guilds.

      The Ally side of Proudmoore (Stonewall is a different reference, it's on Proudmoore) is really big and mostly PvE, so there's a chance I can still get AotC. I know I have that level of skill. I've been in some great guilds on Durotan that just didn't survive the xpacs. I know what I'm looking for in a raiding guild. I'm just lamenting that "LGBT-friendly", well... isn't.