Monday, May 19, 2014

Why I'm ok with listening to people I disagree with sometimes.

I like Big Bear Butt. He loves games, has a cool cub that games with him, has a military background, and rants occasionally. We have things in common.

I recently started on Twitter, however many years late into the "thing." I'm usually late for these "things." So far I've found many, many people on Twitter say things that I don't like. Sometimes I think they're wrong. Sometimes I'm just plain offended. Here's and example where I think someone is wrong:

I read this because it was linked on BBB's twitter, with the reply: "hell, I felt like you were speaking for me too on the whole not really a geek bullshit, brilliantly written"

First off, I can't stand these stupid arguments! Ok, you, Christina Gleason, you are not a fake geek girl. All the people, guys and girls both, who call you such, they're being assholes and ignorant. On this we agree.

Here's where we don't: "No one has the right to call me or anyone else a fake geek girl." Yes! Yes they do. And yes, this is a censorship argument. Gleason is giving yet another variation of "Shut the fuck up!" However, her guilt tripping doesn't work on everyone, because some of us aren't simply being assholes. Some of us have thought it through and decided that fake geek girls do indeed exist. Mostly in marketing.

And they are free to be fake, just as I'm free to call them fake, and Gleason is free to call me an asshole and lump me in with the assholes calling her fake.

Quite frankly, I'm offended when people feel entitled to not be exposed to being called stupid names. I was in nearly complete agreement with this article, right up until "No one has the right..."

Grow the fuck up, Gleason.

That's just the thing, though. I can see this "thing" that someone else likes, and even empathizes with, I see it, disagree with it, and that's just fine. BBB is not ignorant, demonstrably so, neither his he an asshole. Well, not to much of an asshole, and usually is so productively. So I keep following his tweets and reading his blog.

I say this because certain people now boast about how many people they've blocked on whatever "thing", twitter or tumblr or whatever. Even worse, they condemn any other people who do enjoy the work of the "others" that they themselves object to. It's not just polarizing. It's childish.

I've recently been told I'm a rape apologist for reading Penny Arcade. Really? I just like to read the strip, and occasionally the news. I was completely unaware that this blew up into this.

I was driven out of <Taint> by the same sort of "Social Justice Warriors", as I've learned they're called, by themselves with pride and by others with dripping sarcasm. All I said and only when directly asked, was that I'm not interested in Feminism. No, I'm just not a Feminist. No, I don't hate women, I just don't like Feminism. Then the shitstorm was unleashed. I left because the powers that be in that place do not tolerate even the slightest disagreement where it concerns that particular philosophy.

However, I've never been called an asshole for calling people "fake geek girls" or "fake gamer girls" or whatever. It's not because I don't think they exist. It's because I don't really care enough in the first place to vocalize these opinions (usually, irony detected). People just haven't had the opportunity before now to call me an asshole in this regard. It's a issue where I'd usually rather be safe than sorry, actually. If I don't call someone fake and they are, well, no one cares, least of all me. If I do call someone fake and they aren't, then I'm the asshole.

Even so, I'm not going to block anyone, because I'm grown up enough to let people say things I disagree with, maybe even offended by, and I'll still listen. Who knows? Maybe I'm wrong, and I'm the asshole.

All I'm really offended by, when I take a moment to think, is stupidity and dishonesty. Here's what's stupid about the post in question: "What does that even mean, fake geek girl? This term gets thrown around by pimply adolescents and man-boys alike. (Because if you feel the need to put down a woman for not fitting your mental Ramona Flowers fantasy, you are not a grown man.)" That's the opening salvo of the article. Two ad hominems sandwiching a straw man. Personal attacks are stupid and straw men are dishonest characterizations. I stuck through it, though, looking for the redeeming value, and found some. Just because the first lines are fallacies doesn't mean the argument is wrong. That would be a Fallacy Fallacy. The redeeming value I did find was that, yeah, some people are assholes and need to understand that There's no gate and you're not the gatekeeper. (Did you catch the straw man? Eh? Get it?)

All this, just to say, I don't put my hands over my ears and scream "Shut the fuck up!" I just hope more people than it seems like do the same.

I still like Big Bear Butt. He loves games, has a cool cub that games with him, has a military background, and rants occasionally. We have things in common.


  1. I've never really visited your blog before. Hell, to tell you the truth I'd not heard of you before until I saw you on someone's blogroll and your title was interesting. But, I really admire what you said. I feel the same way - everyone is entitled to opinion. Just as you are entitled to disagree with it. Don't shove your mantra down my throat because I don't think the same as you. Respect my opinion, and I'll respect yours. And we'll agree to disagree.

  2. " If I don't call someone fake and they are, well, no one cares, least of all me. If I do call someone fake and they aren't, then I'm the asshole."

    This is all that really needs to be said, imo. If your only contribution is to put someone down, then you're better off not saying anything at all.

    For what it's worth though, the only fake geek girls (or fake geeks in general, really) are actors playing them for a role/advertising, and those who are trying to pose as them in order to make fun of them (like, Halloween or other fancy dress, or in a mocking way).